One other thing...

Just to say that it hasn't all been crochet, crochet, crochet. I have also finished my first assignment.

3240 words (to be precise). To be submitted on Friday by midday.






I am quietly pleased with it... let's hope the marker's are too.


With that out of the way, I am now on my first placement in a school. I am in a Year 6 class and my first day nerves have disappeared, in spite of feeling that I had been thrown into the deep end. As of next Monday, I will be expected to teach the class for 40% of the week...


The school is in a fairly deprived area and the children have a lot of social and emotional difficulties, so where as I initially felt scared that my subject knowledge wasn't really up to scratch, I can already see that teaching is not going to be all about curriculum and statistics. It's taking a lot within me to rise above the emotional side of working with these children and hope that I can make a bit of a difference to their lives, even if it's in the tiniest way.

I've got 2 more assignments to hand in by the 19th December, so bear with me for a bit. I'm sorry I haven't been visiting as much as I'd like to... I will get there... eventually...

When will I ever learn...

Just in case you think I've been idle these last couple of weeks, I have got photographic evidence of things other than regular blogging that has kept me busy.

The baby blanket I started weeks ago, has been finished. And with a lesson learnt:

Don't leave all the sewing-in of ends to the last minute...

When you do that, these become your best friends:

And then you get left with a little pile of colourfulness on the sofa beside you...

The end result? What I would consider a fairly funky baby blanket for a hippy mum!

She had a boy, by the way. Un-named as yet, but with a Christmassy-looking blanket to warm his toes.

Jewels...

On these grey days of autumn, I look out of my windows and smile at these little jewels of colour that make pockets of colour on dull days.

Will you forgive me if I do one big thank you for all your lovely comments on my last 2 posts? I have added all your book suggestions to my literature log. I even got given a bag of books by the owner of No.9 when I visited again for some coffee and cake! How lucky am I? Thank you, Anna.

As you can probably tell, I have neglected this blog of late...it's not intentional, just a lack of time able to spend in front of a screen without my neck and shoulders screaming out for a break! The remedy? I'm off now for a hot stone treatment. A little treat for myself and my aching neck.

And relax...

My Book...

While I'm on the subject of books, I thought I would post about a project I embarked on 2 years ago. The lead up to our first Christmas without Tom was one of unspeakable anxiety.

The previous Christmas had been quite fraught because Tom was particularly poorly with another hospital acquired infection, which required us to make a dash into Great Ormond Street on the day after Boxing Day for an emergency procedure - a massive risk in itself as he was a high risk patient for having a general anaesthetic. To cut a long story short, after another long stay in hospital and the whole of that spring half term off school, we managed to get on top of things again.

I digress. I can't remember where I saw an article on BobBooks, but I was inspired to make a book for No2 about his brother. The photo I used on the front, is my absolute favourite of Tom. I took it in March 2006 and the fact that he is smiling never fails to amaze me. He was such an inspiration to me and so loving. Not a day goes by when I don't miss him so much, that it really does make my heart hurt. I don't think I've ever posted a photo of Tom before, I've had to take a deep breath.

I scoured the Internet for a quote to use as a front page, and was absolutely thrilled when I found the perfect one.

I love this photo - it looks as though No2 is saying "did you see what he just did?"

It took many hours sorting through my photographs, looking for pictures of the two of them together. I tried to find a picture for every year of No2's life. Then I had to start to think about how to design the layout of the book. The software for the process is free to download and I played for days with page colour, text colour, size and font.

For the last page, I used the first line from The Very Hungry Caterpillar.










Once you are happy with your book, it is a really simple process to upload it, where it gets printed in Zurich (I think!) and gets posted to you within a couple of weeks.





I was so pleased with my end result and No2 often looks at it - I know this because he refuses to tidy his room and as often as I put all his stuff away, this book often comes out again...

My Literature Log...

As predicted, it has become difficult to fit everything in to each week now, let alone day. I feel like I'm juggling lots of balls in the air since I started studying. At the moment they are all staying up - I wonder how long that will last...

Surprisingly, I'm not that bothered by dog hair swirling around the floor anymore or the fact that my garden looks a bit wind-battered. Maybe I'm mellowing into student life. My weeks are flying by and my brain is fit to burst. This weekend I have made a plan - to have a day of rest from uni on Saturday, and then today, Sunday, to get everything up to date from the previous weeks studying. I can report that my plan has worked. I even managed to fit in a quick half hour in the garden, planting the last of the pansies I bought last week.

On Friday we started 2 new modules - English and Maths. The dreaded maths... I've always considered maths to be my weakest subject. After just one lecture and one seminar, I have been inspired to take a fresh approach to it and I feel challenged to teach it well. My brain just seems to say 'aaaargh...' at the mere mention of the word, and I found I was not alone in this! Even with a grade 'B' 'O' level, I was not convinced I had a sound knowledge of the subject. Perhaps I can change my misconceptions over the course of the next few weeks.

I just know I'm going to enjoy the English module. My tutor is particularly brilliant! There is something about her that just appeals to me. Our first seminar was about children's literature and over the course of the next year, I have to compile a log of about 500 examples of children's literature. The work that I've done in our school library over the last 2 years is going to help me enormously, plus it is the perfect opportunity to trawl through the shelf upon shelf of children's books here at home, re-reading and making notes.

My favourite children's author is Eric Carle. I love everything about his books - the rhythm, the richness, the illustrations and, of course, the story. Of all his books, The Very Hungry Caterpillar is my absolute favourite. It has an extra special place in my heart as it was Tom's favourite book. If ever he was having a difficult day, I would read it to him or play it on his CD player, and he would usually calm down and eventually smile or get that twinkle of pleasure in his eyes. Have you ever heard the audio version? The music is particularly lovely. So lovely, that I played it at his funeral as an introduction. Whenever I hear the story now, the music is in my head the whole time. It makes me smile.

Before Tom became ill (he was 4...), his other Eric Carle favourite was The Bad-tempered Ladybird. He used to love saying the line 'hey, you, want to fight?'. He was such a gentle soul, it seemed incongruous to hear him say such a thing.

What are your favourite children's books? Any additions to my log will be most gratefully received, so do leave me a comment!

Return of the Granny Square...

Two weeks in to my studying and I am pleased to report that I have managed to find a bit of time to do other things. Yarn was purchased in a nerve-calming effort the day before I started uni - am I allowed to sound young, and call it uni? A new baby is on the way in November for one of my closest friend's sister and so a blanket has been asked for...

I love making granny squares and I've been itching to make something using red and turquoise together, after admiring this gorgeous quilt and these lovely cushions.

My expectant mum isn't a pastel kinda girl, so I thought that it was the perfect excuse for this colour combination, which would suit a boy or a girl.

I have a small confession though: it was working out pretty expensive using this yarn, so I've scouted around and have decided to make it in this yarn instead - 100% wool rather than cotton, so nice and warm for a winter baby.

All is not lost on these squares - they are the perfect colour combination for No2's bedroom, so he will soon have a cushion for his bed...or to be thrown around the room...

My first two weeks of studying have been brilliant. I now feel that I'm part of the whole deal and have had some really inspiring lectures that have made me feel that I really am on the right path. Last week, we had a lecture from a headteacher who had turned her school around, from one on special measures, to one with an outstanding OFSTED report. I left after one hour of listening to her infectious enthusiasm dying to get out there and teach.

Today, we had a lecture about the importance of reading for children by an emeritus professor who had us all regaled in the delights of Hairy Maclary from Donaldson's Dairy. Imagine a group of 120 students (all above Years 1 and 2!) yelling out the last word of each page! His advice to us was to read to your class at least once a day, purely to keep yourself sane! He assured us that the class would always be enthralled at listening to a story. Suits me...

Relegated...

The time came at the weekend to put some shoes away. I confess to be a fairly tidy person on the whole, with the exception being my desk, where organised chaos reigns. Another tiny area of mess can be found in my bedroom, where there is usually a pile of shoes...

I am facing up to the fact that my lovely Crocs need to be stashed away again until next spring.

I have been known to wear them with socks *blush* but my toes are decidedly chilly now.

My trusty Converse All Stars are a good filler for early autumn days, and compliment my student wardrobe perfectly.

Although I've noticed that mine are looking extremely clean compared to others I've spotted around the campus! The reason being that they've recently come out of the washing machine after getting caked in mud at the REM gig...

The time has well and truly come though, to get out of my wardrobe my most favourite footwear of all time... drum roll please...my biker boots...

These are the real McCoy - genuine Harley-Davidson boots. I was inspired to buy them about 6 years ago after being given the thrill of a lifetime ride on a friend's Harley over in Florida. I was hooked. After coming home, the best I could do was at least have the boots!

They don't look a day older than the day I bought them and are the most comfortable boots I've ever owned. They will, no doubt, be worn for the next 6 or 7 months, but I'm not complaining.

It's boot love!

Fresher's Week...

So, here we are at Friday already...where on earth did that week go?

My first week at uni is over and it is official: I am now a student! I have attended lectures and seminar groups. I have stood in various queues for over 3 hours to register. I have had 120 new faces flashed in front of me...many of which haven't registered at all, while others have become familiar and comforting in the process of getting to know what to do and when to do it.

I have explored our campus and the neighbouring site for the other faculties. One of our first tasks was to make a 3D map of the facilities available to students and then we had to design and print a poster advertising specific facilities - my group had environmental issues. The week has had a definite focus on team-building and we have been put into groups at any given opportunity.

We have been encouraged to take lots of photos of everything - so my blogging instincts will serve me well! Today, we had to make a collage of our learning journey timeline, but without using glue. The idea? To recycle...we created the collage, took a photo, then put all the resources back for use again! Impressed? I was! The idea being, whatever would we have done with the collage?

An unexpected bonus of my course is that it is a requirement to blog! Good job then, that I've had lots of practice! I've now got a blog set up on the university's studynet site, where I will be expected to keep a record of my experience there. It isn't public, except within the university, but, no doubt, I will be posting the highs and lows of my new path here regularly, along with my usual ramblings.

The thing I've found hardest this week is the attitude of some of the students. The age range on my course is huge - I'm not the oldest! Dare I say, the younger students seem to want to chat the whole way through seminars and it is a real distraction. At least I'm not alone in feeling a slight annoyance - it has become a common thread of conversation between us 'oldies'! Are we too grumpy? I hope not.

I'm looking forward to the weekend and hope to be able to relax a bit...maybe do some crochet or knitting...a lie-in on Sunday will be most welcome...

Sorry the photos are a bit boring...grey days around the campus..note the environment theme!

The calming influence of yarn...

So, how do you spend the day before The Big Day?




You go shopping...obviously.






Obviously, you need to stock up on yarn because the scarf is finished, pressed and folded in readiness for a drop in temperature - hasn't this weekend been glorious, though?





This scarf was a joy to knit. Lurking in the bottom of the Loop bag are 4 more balls of Rowan Cocoon, this time, Bilberry, (colourway 812) to make one as a Christmas gift for my lovely friend.






All well and good, if I ever have time to knit again...

Going for it...

This week has found me with my head in books of all kinds, in preparation for The Big Day on Monday.

To set a benchmark for the beginning of my studying, I had to take an audit test in maths, English and science. The books were bought months ago, but have remained in a tidy pile on my desk...

Ok, so I've left it til the last minute...but hey, I wanted it all to be fresh in my mind...right? So, out came my lovely new pencil case and I got down to tackling the maths test first.

I honestly thought I'd get between 10 and 20% percent in the test as I just don't have a particularly mathematical brain, so I was quietly pleased with a score of 51%. There's alot of work to be done on equations and algebra...but, I have got 3 years to get there. This book may well prove to be a lifeline!

Next up came science: biology has always interested me and I do have a good memory for things such as anatomy and the living world. Physics is a different matter...

73% there - not bad, not bad. My confidence was growing every day. For English, I just took a deep breath and went for it. I mean, I talk the language everyday, don't I? I write regularly, don't I? I read...alot, don't I? But could I remember what a simile was? NO. Still, I got 82% and that has boosted my confidence no end. I do still have a brain...

I also have a reading list of both children's books and study books. I decided to tackle a children's book that I wasn't familiar with as part of a project set for our first week looking at who is the teacher and what is learning. I chose Malorie Blackman's Noughts and Crosses.

My Borders gift cards that my colleagues at school gave me as a leaving present came in handy as I knew they would, and so I can still satisfy my urges to buy children's books, long after my children have grown out of them.

So, I am as prepared as I'm ever going to be. I have created written action plans with references to further reading to improve my audit marks. I have downloaded practice guides and strategies for teaching. I have bought files to keep everything in order.

I think a last dash to Borders and Paperchase is called for tomorrow. I need to buy an academic year diary and probably some more stationery (I love stationery). Then I am going to sit back and let the weekend pan out in whatever shape or form it decides...

Spiritual Retreat...

Yesterday I went on a Spiritual Retreat Day, organised by Helen House Hospice, where I belong to a bereaved parents group. The day was made possible by the generous offer by a lady who, I believe, is a benefactor of the hospice. She kindly allowed us to use her beautiful home, set in the Oxfordshire countryside. The day was facilitated by Mark, the chaplain at the hospice and he put together a programme that was loosely structured into group presentations, that we were under no obligation to take part in, and free time to spend in any way we wished for reflection.

The first group presentation was focused on Michelangelo's Pieta sculpture. Mark talked about this image and how it represented loss. I found it incredibly powerful to see Mary cradling the body of Jesus in her arms. It resonated with me in a way that words cannot describe. I think the image will stay with me forever.

Mark talked about a sense of holding on and letting go. It is a feeling that I am aware of now in my life, as I move on into territory that is new and challenging. Territory that I wouldn't have been entering had my darling boy not left me. I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. I would be lying if I said I wasn't dreading the conversations that are going to be inevitable about how many children I have (I still haven't formulated the response that I find comfortable...) It is proof that life continues and I can only hope that Tom's spirit is holding me up and pushing me forwards. It comes very easily to me to feel guilty that I am moving on without him, but when I get the chance for some dedicated time to focus on my grief, such as the time I spend at Helen House, it allows me to see that, actually, my grief is still there, just under the surface, and I find this a huge comfort to let my tears flow freely and without any fear. It affirms to me that the decision I made after Tom passed away, that I would not try to get over losing him, but instead learn to live with losing him, was the right decision to make.

We were blessed with a glorious September day and the gardens at the house were perfect for spending time either alone or with friends that I have made. They were filled with birdsong and butterflies. I discovered the most amazing walled kitchen garden and swings hidden in oak trees. I was drawn to this bench, flanked by agapanthus and looking down towards rolling hills beyond immaculate beds and perfectly cut lawn.

I proved to myself that I am not a shameless blogger, armed with a camera, photographing everything! I think I behaved in an appropriate manner, without taking advantage of the family's privacy and limited my images to just three as a reminder of a lovely day...